Lottie James, VP Welfare & Community
There are multiple reasons why celebrating the holidays might not appeal to everyone. In this blog post, I want to share practical tips that can support you regardless of your situation.
If you’re stressed about going home as you don’t want to visit family and friends.
Everyone’s family dynamic is different, so the advice may not be something you can take. Setting boundaries, especially with family and friends, can be difficult, but it is a good skill to learn, and a good way to prioritise your well-being.
- If possible, only attend holiday events where you feel wanted.
- Keep interactions superficial. Practice small talk and plan an exit strategy.
- Volunteering is a great way to help people and stay out of the house.
If you’re estranged from your family.
It can be particularly difficult to deal with estrangement during holiday traditions. It’s important that you are confident in your boundaries and while others may not understand or think they can fix them, it’s ok to stick to what you know.
- Be wary of reminiscing through rose-tinted glasses. If you visit family or look through photos, don’t let your emotions make any decisions for you.
- If you are considering contacting an estranged family member, be honest about your intentions and what you hope to get out of the relationship.
- Make your own traditions. Attending a concert, visiting a museum, or cleaning behind the fridge – it’s your holiday!
If you can’t get home for the holidays.
It can be frustrating being unable to return to loved ones especially if the holiday culture is new to you. But remember, even if your friends are going home, you are not alone!
- Get involved with the activities set up by the Halls of Residences teams (if you’re in private accommodation, you can still attend).
- Schedule time for video calls and online activities, such as gaming, watching your favourite films, or just staying connected to those around you.
- Go out and see the decorations or join a community group on social media. Click here for Southampton events and here for Winchester events.
If you can’t be yourself around family.
Starting university gives you the opportunity to start over and be your true self. It can feel like you’re going backwards if you return to family or friends that do not understand or accept you.
- Access short-term counselling sessions through the University’s Student Hub with trained advisers.
- Contact Beyond Reflections, a local charity that supports trans, non-binary and otherwise gender-diverse individuals (as well as family, friends and allies).
- Stay connected to your community online and check-in and chat with others as you can.
Above all, make sure you’re taking breaks and prioritising your wellbeing over this time. The holiday traditions don’t look the same to everyone, and they don’t have to look the same as anyone’s.
The Student Hub is available over the Winter closure period and available 24/7. If you’re concerned about housing, finances or your academics, please contact the Advice Centre before the 20th of December.